“Do not spoil what you have by desiring what you have not. Remember that what you now have was once only what you hoped for.” ~ Epictetus
When it comes to the things we want, there always seems to be an endless list. No matter how many times we get something off that list, we add new things to replace it. In life, this drama of wanting and getting and wanting more or another is all part of the dance. The things we want and don’t yet have motivate us to get up, and work to earn or get them.
And yet, at the same time, these same unattained wants torment us, especially when we want something we can’t (shouldn’t?) have or can’t find. It is in cases such as these that it might be fruitful to entertain the idea that maybe what you really want is right in front of you. Maybe you are using this desire that you can’t fulfill to distract you from truly engaging the blessings you already have. Ignoring the bird in hand, as it were. It may seem like that doesn’t make sense, yet we do it all the time.
As with most flaws and faults and characteristics that may not be the most positive, this may be easier to see in other people than to see in ourselves. We have all heard our friends wishing they were more this or less that, and looking at them, we see clearly that they are everything they are wishing they were. We know people who have wonderful partners and yet envy yours. We know people who are fit and beautiful and wish for more of both. We wish we could give these people a look at their situations from our point of view, so they could see that what they really want is right in front of them.
It’s not too far-fetched to consider that we might be victims of the same foolishness (yes, I know, not a word we like to apply to ourselves). It can be scary to have what we want. We get caught up in the chase, the what if, and forget to enjoy the beauty right in front of us — like a child who never wants the toy she has in her hand but always the one just out of her reach… or in someone else’s hand.
Take a moment today to consider the many things and wonders you are holding in the palm of your hand and how you might best appreciate and delight in them.
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